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Jokes about Price

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!" "TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?" "We'll be at the downtown International Marriott." "That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?" "We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope." "That's rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it." A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained the man, "not only were we on time in one of TWA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel-it was great! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it's the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!" "Well," muttered the barber, "I know you didn't get to see the pope." "Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes to personally me et some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me." "Really?" asked the Barber. "What'd he say?" He said, "Where'd you get the lousy haircut?

There was a guy walking down the street in San Francisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, because he thought it was priceless. While he was running to the antique shop to cash this puppy in, it rubbed against his shirt. POOF! A genie popped out of his pocket! The very angry looking Genie said, "All right, I have had enough with this three wish stuff, and 'cuz you stole me away from my HBO Special, I will only give you one wish!" The surprised man said, "OK, I want to live in Hawaii in a huge condo on the beach with three million dollars in the master bedroom, but I am afraid of boats and planes so I want you to build a bridge from here to Hawaii." The genie replied with a smirk, "Are you crazy? Do you know how long that will take, with the pillars going down to the bottom of the ocean, all the cement it wou ld take for the highway? No I'm sorry, it just can't happen." The man said, "Fine then, I want to understand women." The genie said, " Would you like two lanes or four?

How do you know accountants have no imagination? They named a firm PricewaterhouseCoopers.

Quotes about Exchange

A state is not a mere society, having a common place, established for the prevention of mutual crime and for the sake of exchange...Political society exists for the sake of noble actions, and not of mere companionship. Aristotle

Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work. H. L. Hunt

If you explore beneath shyness or party chit-chat, you can sometimes turn a dull exchange into an intriguing one. I've found this to be particularly true in the case of professors or intellectuals, who are full of fascinating information, but need encoura Joyce Carol Oates