Shots & Shooters 1 package X-Treme Green Apple Jell-O
1 cup boiling water
1 cup DeKuyper® Buttershots liqueur
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The officer shouted
orders to a
nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran
directly onto
the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a
dispatch
case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to
safety.
"Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a
medal. You
risked your life to save the locations of our secret
warehouses."
"Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said
whorehouses!"
A patient was at her doctor's office after
undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some
very grave
news for you. You only have six months to
live."
The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"
The doctor
replied, "Marry an accountant."
"Will that make me live longer?"
asked the patient.
"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM
longer."
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her
eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being,
asks
sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde
replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
my mother
had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't
you go home for the
day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the
day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains,
"No, I'd be better off here. I need
to keep my mind off it and I
have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and
allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need
anything, just let me
know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check
on the blonde. He looks
out over his office and sees the blonde
crying hysterically. He rushes
out to her, and asks, "Are you going to
be okay? Is there anything I
can do to help?"
"No," re
plies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she
said
that HER mom died too!"
A poet ought not to pick nature's pocket. Let him borrow, and so borrow as to repay by the very act of borrowing. Examine nature accurately, but write from recollection, and trust more to the imagination than the memory. Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. Ambrose Bierce
I live now on borrowed time, waiting in the anteroom for the summons that will inevitably come. And then - I go on to the next thing, whatever it is. One doesn't luckily have to bother about that. Agatha Christie