Cocktails 3 oz Malibu® coconut rum
3 oz pineapple juice
1 oz grenadine syrup
Money
Business
Information
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping
and goes to see
his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at
night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the
problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours
trying to find
it."
A patient was at her doctor's office after
undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some
very grave
news for you. You only have six months to
live."
The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"
The doctor
replied, "Marry an accountant."
"Will that make me live longer?"
asked the patient.
"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM
longer."
Why do
accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
[Humanity] has unquestionably one really effective weaponlaughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecutionthese can lift at a colossal humbugpush it a littleweaken it a little, century by century; but only laughter can blow it to rags and atom Mark Twain
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. Bob Hope
A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money. Senator Everett Dirksen