Shots & Shooters 1/2 oz habanero pepper sauce
1/2 oz Everclear® alcohol
1 dash cayenne pepper
Money
Business
Information
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping
and goes to see
his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at
night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the
problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours
trying to find
it."
A patient was at her doctor's office after
undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, "I have some
very grave
news for you. You only have six months to
live."
The patient asked, "Oh doctor, what should I do?"
The doctor
replied, "Marry an accountant."
"Will that make me live longer?"
asked the patient.
"No," said the doctor, "but it will SEEM
longer."
Why do
accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
A good word is an easy obligation; but not to speak ill, requires only our silence, which costs nothing. John Tillotson
Abbott: Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third.
Costello: That's what I want to find out. Bud Abbott
Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them Voltaire