Beer / Ale 1 part tequila
1 part peppermint schnapps
1 glass beer
Money
Business
Information
Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in
an IT company.
During the welcoming ceremony the boss says:
"You're all part of our
team now. You can earn good money here, and
you can go to the company
canteen for something to eat. So don't
trouble the other employees."
The cannibals promise not to trouble
the other employees.
Four weeks later the boss returns and says:
"You're all working very
hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of
you. One of our cleaners has
disappeared however. Do any of you
know what happened to her?"
The cannibals disavow all knowledge of
the missing cleaner. After the
boss has left, the leader of the
cannibals says to the others: "Which
of you idiots ate the
cleaner?"
A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals
says:
"You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders,
Managers, and
Project Managers so no-one would notice anything,
and you have to go
and eat the cleaner!"
A wildlife biologist crew
leader has
several crews, each consisting of two biologists. The crews
camped and
worked in the woods and he made his rounds to visit each pair
every
few days. One particular crew, Sarah and Jim, were not getting
nearly as much work accomplished as the others, so he suspected that they
might be up to some funny business. The following day, he paid them
a
visit.
"Is anything funny going on here"? he
asked.
"What do you mean by that?" the pair asked back.
"I mean, you're not
getting much fieldwork done. Are you two, you
know, maybe doing
something you're not supposed to do?"
"Absolutely not!" the Jim
replied. " We are strictly co-workers"
"Oh yes," the Sarah replied, " We
hike all day, record our data,
return back, and fall asleep
exhausted.
"That's right!" Jim replied, "and me in my tent, and she in
hers!"
The crew supervisor spent the remainder of the day in th
e field with
the pair. He left the field early, returned to camp,
retrieved his Jeep
and left the area.
The following day, the
biologist pair had lost their $1000 GPS unit.
They searched high
and low, but could not find it. It had simply
disappeared from their
camp. After a few frantic days, they suspected that the
crew leader
had taken it. It was the only plausible explanation. That
evening,
they called him on the 2-way radio, and politely asked weather
he
may have inadvertently taken the unit.
"As a matter of fact, I
did take it the day I came up to see if you
two were sleeping
together. After realizing I had accidentally taken it
with me from the
field, I placed it in Sarah's sleeping bag where she
would be sure to
find it!"
What is the cannibals' favorite game?
Swallow my Leader.
A dollar saved is a quarter earned. Oscar Levant
America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar and use it up in two weeks. John Barrymore
At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote. Emo Phillips