Shots & Shooters 1 package orange jello
1 cup hot water
1 cup vanilla liqueur
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The officer shouted
orders to a
nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran
directly onto
the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a
dispatch
case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to
safety.
"Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a
medal. You
risked your life to save the locations of our secret
warehouses."
"Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said
whorehouses!"
"I was married 3 times" explained
the man to a newly discovered
drinking partner, "and I'll never
marry again. My first 2 wives died
of eating poison mushrooms and my
3rd wife died of a fractured skull."
"That's a shame." said his
friend , "How did it happen?"
"She wouldn't eat the
mushrooms!"
What's the speed limit of
sex?
68; at 69 you have to turn around.
A good word is an easy obligation; but not to speak ill, requires only our silence, which costs nothing. John Tillotson
Abbott: Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third.
Costello: That's what I want to find out. Bud Abbott
Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them Voltaire