Punches 3 oz Golden Grain® alcohol
6 oz chilled lemonade
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Why do you need a driver's licence to
buy liquor when you can't
drink and drive?
One day an Englishman, an
American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. The proceeded to
each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just as they were about to enjoy
their beverage three flies landed in each of their pints.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The
American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued
drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Canadian picked the fly
out of his drink and started shaking it
over the pint, yelling...
"SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"
A couple have not been getting along for years,
so the husband
thinks,
"I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for
her birthday."
Well, you can imagine her disappointment.
The next
year, her birthday rolls around again and this
time he doesn't get
her anything.
She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday
present!?"
He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
Ambition often puts men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is performed in the same posture with creeping. Jonathan Swift
Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office. David Broder
Friendship is constant in all other things
Save in the office and affairs of love:
Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues;
Let every eye negotiate for itself
And trust no agent. William Shakespeare